Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual making them question their own perceptions, memory and sanity.
As a victim of gaslighting by both of my parents who are narcissists I can tell you the warning signs that you can look out for.
You often wonder if you’re being too sensitive;
You are being more anxious and less confident than you used to be;
You always thinking it’s your fault when things go wrong;
You are feeling hopeless and receive no pleasure in activities you used to enjoy;
You apologize often having a sense that something’s wrong, but are unable to identify what is wrong;
You no longer feeling like the person you used to be;
You feel like everything and anything you do is wrong;
You are finding it increasingly hard to make decisions;
You feel isolated from other friends and family members;
You apologize often for everything and anything;
You are avoiding giving information to friends or family members to avoid confrontation from your abusers;
You often questioning whether your response to your abuser was appropriate;
You make excuses for your abusers behavior on a regular basis;
You feel ashamed and like its something you did or your fault.
What are some Gaslighting examples?
People who gaslight become expert at pushing your buttons, and they know your sensitivities and vulnerabilities and use that knowledge against you. They make you doubt yourself, your own memory, your judgment and even your sanity.
Examples include:
They trivializing how you feel:
“Oh i'm sure now you’re going to feel really sorry for yourself... again.”
They tell you that others are talking behind your back:
"Didn't you know? The whole family talks about you. They think you’re going crazy.”
They say things that they later deny having said:
"I never said I was going to do that. What are you talking about?
Gaslighting and narcissism
Often people who gaslight other people have a psychological disorder called narcissistic personality disorder. People with narcissistic personality disorder have excessive interest in or admiration of themselves; they think that the world revolves around them. Narcissists lack empathy or remorse for their actions and always play the "victim" card. They blame everyone else for their problems but never acknowledge what they did. It's easier for them to blame it than claim it. When confronted they always run away from their problems as they don't want to face or acknowledge the truth. They are guided by their egos and find victims to further feed their egos, but it's never enough. They have a hard time saying simple things like "I'm sorry" or even "thank you". But behind this social mask is a vulnerable fragile soul that lacks self love & confidence.
Narcissists keep looking to find happiness from the outside world: people, possessions, material things but that happiness only comes from the inside. That's why they are never truly fulfilled because these things don't make them happy and they keep trying to acquire more & more. But any happiness they receive is only temporary and very short lived. Instead of looking inside themselves they keep looking outside themselves for validation and it keeps them hungry because they are never satisfied.
A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:
Use others for personal gain;
Be highly critical of others;
Respond to criticism with anger;
Become jealous and envious easily;
Expect special treatment or consideration;
Project an inflated sense of self-importance;
Exaggerate their achievements;
Despite everything I've gone through I'm proud to say that I found that love and self respect for myself. My parents tried to break me but I'm unbreakable! Through all the darkness I was able to find my light. My parents taught me some great lessons about myself and made me stronger. It's because of them that I found unconditional love within myself. However, i'm done learning now and I love and respect myself enough to walk away from people and situations that no longer serve a purpose in my life. I'm using my situation to help inspire others in similar circumstances. It's often hard to break the cycle when your apart of the cycle. I AM thankful that I was blessed with the clarity to see my situation for what it was: emotional and mental abuse. I believe that ALL of our experiences in life help us to grow and evolve. Because of all this I AM stronger & wiser. I AM thankful for the lessons learned because they shaped the woman I have become! I shared my farewell letters to my parents in previous posts in: Dear Mom and "Daddy Issues" if you want to check them out.
Going through a spiritual awakening?
During an awakening, it may be useful to have some professional guidance: someone who can confidently, patiently and without judgement help us, step by step through the healing process. If you are in need of someone to talk with about triggers, past trauma, childhood wounds or repressed emotions. I am available for online booking please contact me directly at: fromanotherealm@gmail.com
Face whatever is holding you back head on and it no longer has power over you, you have power over it! Awareness and anything can't co exist. Awareness is more powerful than your ego, your emotions, your thoughts and your feelings. Awareness is what gets you back home to your soul purpose.
You can use your pain and turn it into power. If you are willing to work on where your pain comes from, the lesson to be learned and turn your knowledge into action, you can use your suffering to turn you into a stronger and wiser person! I look forward to working with you on your spiritual journey.
Love & Light,
Namaste ~ Paulina
Hello, my name is Paulina. I went through a spiritual awakening journey in 2018. I am in touch with my higher self and want to help you find yours. Until your higher self kicks in let me be your guide back home. Book 1:1 sessions with me: fromanotherealm@gmail.com
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