"Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
Psychological projection is attributing thoughts and feelings we don't like in ourselves to others. It's a common habit we indulge in, without realizing we are doing it.
Narcissists all tell on themselves. Through projection they reveal who they are and what they're doing. Using projection, they call you what you are. They throw shame on YOU so they don't have to deal with it. They accuse YOU of doing what they're planning to do. They throw all their uncomfortable feelings onto YOU because they don't want to deal with them themselves. They make YOU feel guilty for what they're doing and who they are because they're unable to feel that guilt themselves.
During stress and hard times, all of us can fall prey to using defense mechanisms as a coping technique. However, healthy people are able to explore uncomfortable feelings with authenticity and integrity.
Narcissistic individuals are not capable of that level of insights and feel very vulnerable to judgement and shame. They refuse to show or admit their own imperfections within their inner psyche to not only themselves but others around them. They use projection (blame shifting) as a common psychological abuse tactic against others like: family members, children, romantic partners, friends, coworkers and peers.
Projection is an unconscious way of denying the existence of something inside oneself and attributing it to others. This could be unwanted characteristics like: emotions, feelings, thoughts, or flaws.
Narcissists use it as a defense mechanism:
With narcissists, they're unable to see these things inside themselves therefore they project them on to other people. They are unable to be responsible and accountable for their own stuff, so they project it onto other people instead.
Projection uses a combination of blame shifting and misdirection. They distract and divert you from what is really going on and make you take the responsibility for it. That's what they think is going on happening on the surface level. But, if you learn to read a narcissist properly, you're going to see how valuable their projections are for revealing what they are doing and who they really are.
My Mom who is a narcissist projects her feeling of unworthiness onto me ever since I can remember. Because of this, I grew up having complexes about myself that weren't really my complexes they were hers. For example she had complexes with her weight, body, height, calves, low self worth, not loving herself, codependency patterns and not being good enough that she passed down to me. It wasn't until after my spiritual awakening I realized that these were her issues, NOT mine! She still tries to project her feelings of unworthiness onto me but I can now see through her actions and don't take it personally anymore. Since she no longer has the ability to control and manipulate me, as I took my power back from her and did it ever feel good! I now realize that her words, actions and feelings have everything to do with her and nothing to do with me.
"Toxic people project their own character defects onto their victims. They do this by accusing the victim of the exact actions they themselves do but deny." ~ Shannon Thomas
~ When you set a boundary and you don’t give the narcissist what they want, the narcissist calls you selfish.
~ The narcissist accuses you of lying because they are a pathological liar.
~ Where the narcissists accuses you of cheating it's because they are planning to cheat on you or already are.
~ At the store, the narcissist says: “where’s our plump cashier?” Meanwhile the narcissist is overweight.
~ When the narcissist says to you “did you hear about ___? I hear she is shady.” But the narcissist is the one who is a very dark character.
Can you now see how they're externalizing whatever it is that they are unable to face or don't like within themselves?
So what to do?
1) Remove yourself from the situation as fast as possible. Do not try to escalate the argument or reason with the narcissistic. Seek physical safety.
2) Remind yourself that you are not to blame for an abuser’s behavior.
3) Seek qualified professional help to talk your situation over with. I would recommend a
no contact option. If an abuser is a malignant narcissist or a psychopath, that person is not capable of sympathy, accountability, empathy, insight, taking responsibility for their actions, and sustained change. Trauma can happen when you are exposed to an extreme narcissist.
Please remember that, abuse is NEVER OK! Projection and blame shifting is the extreme narcissistic abuser’s trick of the trade.
Going through a spiritual awakening?
During an awakening, it may be useful to have some professional guidance: someone who can confidently, patiently and without judgement help us, step by step through the healing process. If you are in need of someone to talk with about triggers, past trauma, childhood wounds or repressed emotions. I am available for online booking please contact me directly at: fromanotherealm@gmail.com
Face whatever is holding you back head on and it no longer has power over you, you have power over it! Awareness and anything can't co exist. Awareness is more powerful than your ego, your emotions, your thoughts and your feelings. Awareness is what gets you back home to your soul purpose.
You can use your pain and turn it into power. If you are willing to work on where your pain comes from, the lesson to be learned and turn your knowledge into action, you can use your suffering to turn you into a stronger and wiser person! I look forward to working with you on your spiritual journey.
Love & Light,
Namaste ~ Paulina
Hello, my name is Paulina. I went through a spiritual awakening journey in 2018. I am in touch with my higher self and want to help you find yours. Until your higher self kicks in let me be your guide back home. Book 1:1 sessions with me: fromanotherealm@gmail.com#gaslighting #narcissistic #narcissist #narcissism #narcopath #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticinjury #narcissistabuse #selfknowledge #femalenarcissist #narc #covertnarcissist #compulsiveliars #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #emotionalvampire #childabuse #projection #blameshifting #fromanotherealm #fromanotherrealm
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