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Feb 10, 20204 min read

How To Forgive Yourself?


"Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it." ~Maya Angelou

Moving forward and making peace with yourself is often easier said than done. This is because forgiving yourself requires compassion, understanding, empathy and kindness. You also have to accept that forgiveness is a choice... your choice.


We all make mistakes. It's human nature to make mistakes, this is why we are living here on Earth at this time: for our souls to grow and evolve from the lessons we learn. We need to learn the lessons and move on from our mistakes. As uncomfortable and painful as it may feel, forgiving yourself is imperative to moving forward to living a healthy and balanced life.



1. Use each mistake as a learning experience:


Use each "mistake" as a learning experience to move forward more efficiently and consistently in the future.


It helps to remind ourselves that we did the best we could with the knowledge, tools and consciousness we had at that moment.

2. Acknowledge the mistake out loud:


When you struggle to let go of a mistake, acknowledge out loud the lesson you learned from the mistake.


I find it helps to give a voice to your emotions in your heart, the feelings that are brought up to the surface and the thoughts in your head. By doing this you release yourself from the burdens you are currently experiencing. At the same time, you imprint what you learned from your past actions and consequences in your mind.


3. Focus on your emotions:


In order to forgive yourself, you need to focus on your emotions. In order for you to move forward, you need to acknowledge, process and release your emotions. Give yourself the time, space, and permissions to recognize and accept the feelings that have triggered you.


4. Get clear about what you want:


If your mistake hurts another person, you need to figure out how to remedy the situation. Is it important for you to make amends? Do you have anything to apologize for?


It's easier to forgive ourselves when we make amends with others we have hurt in the process. By trying to fix the mistake you are taking accountability and responsibility for your actions and how they affected others.




5. Give yourself permission to take your time:


If you are having a hard time getting over your mistake, try to visualize your feelings, thoughts and emotions about the mistake going into a box. You can tell yourself that you are closing this box for now and will return to it when and if it will benefit you.


6. Quit playing the tape!


It’s only human nature to spend our energy and time replaying our mistakes. Taking the time to process the mistake is important, spending all day and night going over what happened again and AGAIN won't give you the time to heal and forgive yourself.


When you catch yourself in the process of saying "i'm a bad person because of this..." stop yourself and focus on positive action steps instead. You can focus on your breathing or go outside in nature for a walk or run. By interrupting the negative thought pattern, you can reduce your anxiety and stress.


7. write it out:


Writing in your journal can help you come to terms with your past grievances. You can also look back at how far you've come and the lessons you learned. By doing this you can identify your thought patterns that are sabotaging your ability to forgive yourself.


You can also write in your journal the qualities, strengths, talents and skills that you like about yourself. When you are feeling down, this can help you boost your self-confidence.



8. Are you being self-critical?


All of us are our own worst critics. Because of this it's important to notice what your inner critic says and then write it down.


Doing this helps us to recognize the thoughts and feelings that are getting in the way of self forgiveness. If you are struggling to make amends with yourself, try this exercise:

On a piece of paper, write down what your inner critic says. On the other side of the paper, write a self-compassionate and rational response for each thing you wrote.


9. Take your own advice:


It's often easier to tell someone else what to do vs taking our own advice. What would you tell your friend or family member if they were sharing this mistake with you? I challenge you to take your own advice!


10. Show kindness and compassion:


In a negative situation if your first response is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some love, compassion and kindness. The ONLY way to begin the journey to self forgiveness is to be loving, compassionate and kind with yourself.



Going through a spiritual awakening?


During an awakening, it may be useful to have some professional guidance: someone who can confidently, patiently and without judgement help us, step by step through the healing process. If you are in need of someone to talk with about triggers, past trauma, childhood wounds or repressed emotions. I am available for online booking please contact me directly at: fromanotherealm@gmail.com


Face whatever is holding you back head on and it no longer has power over you, you have power over it! Awareness and anything can't co exist. Awareness is more powerful than your ego, your emotions, your thoughts and your feelings. Awareness is what gets you back home to your soul purpose.


You can use your pain and turn it into power. If you are willing to work on where your pain comes from, the lesson to be learned and turn your knowledge into action, you can use your suffering to turn you into a stronger and wiser person! I look forward to working with you on your spiritual journey.


Love & Light,


Namaste ~ Paulina 


Hello, my name is Paulina. I went through a spiritual awakening journey in 2018. I am in touch with my higher self and want to help you find yours. Until your higher self kicks in let me be your guide back home. Book 1:1 sessions with me: fromanotherealm@gmail.com
 

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